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Be good to your sons

I am very grateful to parents who nurtured me well as a child--parents who let me have my own interests and follow them, parents who fed my curiosities and encouraged me along those paths that I chose.  My mother is probably the most supportive mother in the entire world.  She taught me how to crochet, even when my brother kept saying that was gay.  She supported me when I decided that I didn't want to walk at my high school graduation, when I told my school counselor that she shouldn't tell me I want to major in engineering instead of math, and many many other times in my life.  I have never felt any pressure from my parents to be anything other than who I am.

I am truly grateful for parents that have done this for me.  For parents who raised me the way I am and not the way they wanted me to be.  So often I have seen parents that break their children.  So often I have seen parents dictate to their children what they should or shouldn't be.  So often I have seen children, with the innocent and loving desire to please their parents, completely brokenhearted and beleaguered in spirit because of their overbearing and stubborn parents.

There's a song that I really like.  It encourages fathers to be good to their daughters.  I think this is a wonderful message.  I think that, in general, fathers are good to their daughters--protecting them from boys that they think are dangerous, wanting what is best for them.  And I think songs like this are good to help remind fathers to keep being nice or perhaps to be nicer to their daughters. I'd embed it, but it's only viewable on YouTube, so you can watch it here.

There's one part of this song that I really don't like, which starts around timestamp 2:30.  It says that boys you can break and find out how much they can take.  I don't agree with this at all.  I think boys are just as tender-hearted and loving as girls.  I don't think any child should ever be broken.  As I said before, I've seen it happen right in front of my own eyes--in the mall, in other peoples' homes, and even at church.  It's saddening and disgusting in every occurrence.  Be good to your sons too.  Be good to all of your children.  There's no excuse for breaking a child.

What prompted this post was a blog post from a friend of mine.  He tells of a fishing trip where he was broken.  The excuse "It's time you learned to be a man" is a hideous reason to treat a child that way.  Such ignorance and such a complete disregard for a child's emotions has no place in society.  People who treat children in such a way have no right to raise them--no right to be parents at all.  This is inexcusable and evil.  Children are people too.  They have feelings, they have rights, they deserve respect.  They deserve to be treated well.  Don't break your children.  Don't break your nieces and nephews.  Don't break your grandchildren.  Yes, teach them, guide them, give them correction, show them what you believe to be a good example.  Just don't break them.  They might not be exactly what you expected your son or daughter to be, but let them be who they are.  Let them grow up to be their own person, not just another copy of yourself.

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