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Showing posts from September, 2013

Boundaries

I think I'm a very amicable person and I like having fun with friends.  I'll sometimes do things that I don't personally enjoy just because I'm with friends who enjoy it.  For example, when I went to gay pride for the first time back in 2011, I met some friends there and they wanted to go to the bar for the after party.  I didn't want to go, but I wanted to be with them, so I went.  I think that it's important to have some degree of acquiescence when socializing with others.  If you're overly rigid with the types of activities that you will or won't do, it may be hard to find friends to hang out with.

But, I've come to realize that sometimes I am too acquiescent and do things that I simply don't enjoy, or that even feel completely disingenuous to me, just because I want to spend time with certain people who enjoy doing those things.

So, now I'll stop being vague and get to what I'm talking about.  Last night I went to two different club…

Listening

So, a while back I blogged about escalation, and how one of the causes of escalation is often that each party in a disagreement feels that the other is not listening or does not understand.  Recent events in my life have helped me understand more about the power of listening.

There are certain hymns that have always been very dear to me, and have struck a chord with my heart.  I will quote them here.
I would be my brother's keeper,
I would learn the healer's art.
To the wounded and the weary
I would show a gentle heart
(from "Lord I Would Follow Thee") Fill my mind with understanding;
Tune my voice to echo thine.
Touch my hand with gentle friendship;
Warm my heart with love divine.
(from "Help Me Teach with Inspiration")  I have a healer's heart.  I love seeing people make up, become friends, overcome obstacles, heal from wounds.  I love taking care of people while they are convalescing.  I hate being around when people fight.  I hate fighting with people. …