Stand for what is right

 I was raised religious. In my religion, it is customary for young people (roughly teenage years) to receive a special blessing which is given by a patriarch in the community and typed up and presented as a letter for the recipient to keep. In the one I received as a teenager, one of the lines it included was "stand for what is right even if it means standing alone". This is a message which I have taken to heart since that time. I am a relatively stubborn person and I have a strong sense of what I believe to be right and what I believe to be wrong. And I feel very strongly about standing up for what I believe to be right and denouncing the things that I believe to be wrong. 

I understand that there are many reasons people had in '16, '20, and just this year to vote for Trump. I know some people reveled in the way he insults certain groups of people--the bullying he openly and unashamedly engages in. I know that many people are largely unaware of the bullying he does, or they choose to overlook it. I know some people decided to vote for him based on the policies he runs on despite the fact that they know he is a bully. I do not see the benefit of painting all voters who voted for Trump (in one or all of the three elections he ran in) as the first category, since it is obvious to me that is not the case. 

That being said, I need to speak up on this matter. The thing that sparked my desire to write this post was a thread I saw on Facebook (found here). The text of the post says 

DAY -74. Ask your kids what happened at school today. Post it below.

I will quote just a few of the response that people gave in the comments section there. I encourage anyone reading this post to go read more of them. They broke my heart.

My friend’s daughter went to jr high today and boys were shouting at the girls “your body, my choice.” 

"My teen was told that all gays should jump off a cliff or be murdered if they don’t. How is this ok?"

"My elementary aged daughter came home crying the other day. She said there were a bunch of kids at recess chanting Trump’s name, and talking about “when he becomes president we can finally get rid of all of the black and brown children out of the school.”

This is not ok. But children are a reflection of what they see in their parents, in society, in the role models around them--and that includes the President. If they hear their parents making racial slurs, they think it's acceptable to repeat them. If they see the President (or a candidate for President) bullying people for being different, then they think it's okay and they mimic that behavior. Electing Trump, knowing all of the horrible things he stands for, emboldens bullies--children and adults alike--to bully more, to be crueler and more hurtful, to say hateful and bigoted things. This is not okay. This is unacceptable. I won't stand for it. I won't remain silent while I see it happen. I need to speak up.

Another teaching I was taught in the religion of my upbringing is that all humans are spiritual brothers and sisters--that we lived as spirits before we came to this Earth and we were all children of God. While I no longer believe in the dogmas of that religion, I do believe that it is good to treat people as though this teaching is true. I believe that all humans deserve a baseline level of respect and kindness, and that the more we treat other people this way the better society will be. I believe that kindness is a virtue. I believe that treating other people the way we would like to be treated is a good rule of thumb to follow (with obvious exceptions such as criminal justice). I believe that regardless of things such as skin color, sexual orientation, body appearance, gender identity, and so many other factors commonly used to marginalize people, people deserve to be treated equally and compassionately. 

It is disappointing to me to see so many adults who chose bigotry and hatred over kindness. Again, I know this does not apply to all Trump supporters but I know that some of his supporters wear shirts that say "f--- your feelings", and other hateful things of that nature. I know that the attitudes exist that certain groups of people are not as deserving as other groups of people. And these are evil attitudes. They should be discouraged, not encouraged. They should be silenced, not given the highest seat of power in the world. 

I have no issues coexisting with people who have different political views than I do. I do not wish to make this article about policy. Whether you believe abortion should be banned or legalized, or any other belief on any controversial or political topic, I hope you will agree with me on this particular matter. People deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. Children deserve to be able to go to school without the fear of being bullied for being different. People should not be told to kill themselves or face being killed for any reason--and especially not because of some factor which is out of their control to change. 

I believe that kindness is better than hate because we can create a more efficient, more productive, and happier society when people are kind to one another than when people are cruel to one another. I work at a company which sells employee recognition software. I see firsthand through the work my company does the positive impact that kindness has on productivity. It is clear to me that when people feel appreciated and valued they work harder, they get more accomplished, and they are much more cooperative than when they feel marginalized or unappreciated. Kindness goes a long way toward building stronger and healthier communities. As the old proverb goes, you get more flies with honey than with vinegar.

I do not believe that the path toward a better future is through dividing people up into groups and shaming them for belonging to a different group. I do not believe society benefits in any way from treating people differently because of where they were born or what they look like or who they're attracted to. I believe that the best path forward is to accept people for who they are, to appreciate them for what they contribute, and to show them the kindness that we ourselves would wish to receive from others. Reach out, be someone's friend. Show kindness. Be polite. 

Watching the news Tuesday night was very difficult for me, as it was in '16. My sister texted me just to ask if I was okay. That simple act meant a lot to me. I know that she and I do not agree on policy and we love each other despite that fact. We know we can share our opinions with each other without it damaging our relationship and I believe that makes our relationship stronger. I was very touched that she did that. That small act of kindness made a big impact on me. I know that these types of acts are much more beneficial than the base, crude, unkind acts and words that are encouraged by the acts and words of Trump and others of his ilk.

I fear that over the next four years--and likely much longer than that--people will grow more hateful and more bitter toward others. I see no value in perpetuating this behavior or in accepting, tolerating, or encouraging it. I see no benefit for society to be cruel to others in this way. Let us all rise above this base and hateful speech and treat each other as though we are brothers and sisters--as though each of us has value and is capable of contributing positively to society. Because I believe we do--I believe each of us does have something to contribute and we will be stronger, happier, and more productive if we each have space to contribute and belong. 

If you have children, please speak with them and share your thoughts on this matter. Set a good example for them, show them the benefits that can come with kindness. Teach them that hateful words and actions are not beneficial and should be discouraged and avoided. Find positive role models that you admire and aspire to be more like, share these role models with your children. Be a force for good in the world. Stand for what is right.