Gratefully Gay

I am truly grateful to be able to experience life as a gay man during this generation.  Perhaps I have not always been grateful for that experience, and perhaps that is not the typical feeling that a person in my situation might have.  So, I would like to list reasons why I am grateful to be gay.

First, being gay has helped me understand my own spiritual beliefs better.  For example, "Why do I believe in God?" I believe in God because a universe without God seems to be a more desolate and lonely place in which to live, whereas a universe with God seems to have more hope and a more reason to do good in life. "What kind of a God do I believe in?" I believe in a God that wants, above all else, for His children to experience the true joy and happiness that He has found by following all of the laws of Nature.  He wants to teach us what we must to do achieve that joy.  There are many other ways in which I have searched and refined my beliefs.  Perhaps at a later date I will make a post solely on that matter, since I could go into much detail.

Next, I would say that being gay has helped me to have more compassion for other people.  I am more sensitive to other social outcasts or outsiders.  I have compassion for those who are misunderstood by their society, their family, or their peers.  I look on such people, not with pity or condescension, but with love and warmth, welcoming them into my heart, my home, and my life.  I long to befriend those black sheep that may feel like they have no other friend in the world.  I say this in perhaps a grandiose manner, and it may come across as trite, but this is something very personal to me that I do in my own small circle of friends that I have made in my life.  Starting close to home is the best place to look for hearts that are downtrodden.

The next one I am about to say may very well come across as arrogant, but I really don't mean it to be.  I merely mention it to give a full, accurate picture of myself.  I am a leader.  I know how to follow other people, and I can do it when it is required of me, but I much prefer to set my own pace, to do my own thing, and to blaze my own trail.  I don't like to follow the fashion trends that society tells me I need to follow.  I don't like to fit into the stereotypical mold that my society says I need to fit into in order to be a man.  I like to be uniquely me.  So, I am grateful to be gay because that is one more way in which I can stand out from the crowd.  I can blaze a trail by showing to my friends and family that it is possible to be gay and moral--to be dedicated to just one man and truly love him, not just lust after him.  I am truly grateful for the opportunity I have to be an example of such a person.  Even just for the benefit of other gay people who may not be as confident that they can live a genuinely happy, fulfilled life with a partner of the same sex.  But also for the benefit of any who have been falsely taught that happiness cannot come from a homosexual relationship.  I feel privileged to be able to personally show that belief to be false.  Certainly, I don't mean to disrespect anyone's religious beliefs.  I merely mean to say that I am grateful for the opportunity to prove empirically (or, to put it in religious terms, to show by my fruits) that true happiness can come from a gay relationship.

And, of course, the most important reason that I am grateful to be gay is that otherwise I would not have fallen in love with my wonderful Conrad.  As I wrote in an earlier post, every time I think of him my heart leaps within me and I am filled with joy.  Just writing about him now brings a wide smile to my face.  I long for the day when I will be able to see him again, when I go to visit him for his birthday.  It will be a truly happy moment to hold him in my arms again.  He is such a good man and has been so kind to me.  I am truly grateful for him.