Skip to main content

Starve your fears

I just had a friend post the saying "Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death." on his wall.  I have heard this before--many times, actually, and I certainly believed it when I was a believing Mormon.  But, now that I look back on my life and see what it was like, I believe the opposite.

At the moment, I have no faith and no fears.  I do not fear death.  I do not fear the possibility that Christians are right and that there is a judgment after death and an eternal assignment at that time.  If that is to be, let it be.  I really do not fear for anything in my future, and there is nothing in my past that is worthy of fear.  I suppose, if I'm to be completely honest, that I do have small fears.  I worry about whether my students will like me or do well on their tests.  I worry about whether my parents will attend my wedding. But, these are minor fears that do not affect my life greatly.  I am still able to function fully well and press onward with confidence.

However, when I was a believer, I had lots of fears.  I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to make it to the Celestial Kingdom, where I knew believed Karen had gone.  I was afraid that people would find out that I'm gay.  Believe it or not, I even worried that at some time in the future (perhaps 20 or 30 years, when homosexuality was more accepted), I would have a male student in my office trying to come on to me in order to get a better grade and that I would not be able to resist the temptation--that I would give in and do something inappropriate with him.

I was afraid that pornography would destroy my life (and, for a long time, it was very damaging to my marriage and my academic career).  I was afraid that I would never learn how to control my body and avoid looking at pornography and masturbating.  In essence, I did what the church taught me to do--I feared God.  I feared his judgment.

Now, I'm not worried about any of that at all.  I concede that the scenario with a student begging for a grade is entirely possible, but I know that if a student--male or female--ever did suggest anything, I would be able to resist.  I am happy with Conrad and I don't need attention from any other source.  I no longer feel a need to look at pornography because my needs are being met.  (Of course, I also no longer think that pornography is damaging--only addiction to it, which can cause the same problems as addiction to any substance.)

Still, I think that perhaps for some people, starving their fears by feeding their faith may possibly work, and if it does, then I'm happy for them.  Fear can be debilitating.  But, as for me, I have found that the more I accept reality and the less I trust in unseen and quite likely mythical powers, the less I have to fear. Embracing all that is true and real has been a very empowering journey for me.  I'm not done.  I don't know everything.  I never will.  But, I do have that as my goal.  I want to learn truth.  I believe that knowledge is empowering, and that it is capable of dispelling fear.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Do you really believe?

This is Richard Dawkin's talk from yesterday's Reason Rally in Washington DC.  He makes several good points, but the one that stuck out to me the most was when he told people that they should challenge someone when they say they're religious.  The example he gave is when someone says they're Catholic, ask them if they really  believe that when a priest blesses a wafer that it actually turns into the body of Christ, or that the wine actually turns into his blood.  So, this post will be dedicated to me asking any of my reader base who are religious, do you really  believe what your religions teach? For those who are Christian (any denomination thereof), Do you really believe every word of the Bible to be the word of god?  If so, read every word of the Bible and then come back and answer the question again. Do you really believe that a snake tricked Eve into eating fruit that made her suddenly unfit to live in the paradisiacal garden god had just made for her? Do y

Hitchens v god

I'm rather ashamed to admit that I just recently discovered Christopher Hitchens. And, while I normally add my own thoughts and commentary to videos when I post them here, in nearly every Hitchens video that I've encountered, I have not a single word to add. He is so articulate and does such a good job of presenting his case that I couldn't possibly add anything to it.  I would definitely be interested if any of my readers have any comments to make in regards to what Hitches says in this video. Enjoy.  

The fundamental theorem of atheism

I think many times, with all the discussion of religion, science, atheism, etc, it can be easy to lose sight of the real purpose of what one is trying to accomplish.  Of course, this can happen in any discussion.  But, one of those ever-famous text-images found on Facebook caught my attention today.  (I do think it's funny, but from what I have seen a basic fact about human psychology, that people are more likely to read text when it is in an image--even if the image is purely text--than when it is just simply written text.  I wonder if they've done any studies on that.) So, to bring my own focus back to where it should be, here is what I will call the "fundamental theorem of atheism".  Yes, that's a very mathematical title--every branch (and sub-branch) of mathematics has a "fundamental theorem".  So, here it is for atheism.   The burden of proof lies on those who claim that there is a god to produce evidence of its existence .  So, here's the ima