The Engagement

I've written about Conrad twice now--how we met, and then my second trip down to Dallas.  So, if you want more details about that part of our relationship, you can read about it in those two posts.  This post is to answer some specific questions about our engagement, since that is now public knowledge on facebook.  We've been engaged for a little while, but I wanted to let my parents know before I announced it publicly.  So, now that I've told my mother and Karen's, we decided to announce it.

First: "Who proposed?"  That's a difficult question to answer.  The first time the subject was brought up, Conrad simply said "I want to marry you."  So, in a way, you could say that he was the one who proposed.  Since that time, we've both proposed to the other amidst everyday conversation.  One time while we were chatting on Facebook I said "Will you marry me?" and he said "I'm eating tater tots."

Second: "When/where is the wedding?"  There are only a few places in America where gay marriage is legal at the moment, so our choices of location a slightly limited.  We have decided on the District of Columbia, mostly because we both want to see all of the historic sites there.  I've only been to DC once in my life--last summer--and I didn't have enough time to see everything I wanted to, and I don't think Conrad's ever been there.  We don't have all of the details cemented yet, but as far as time is concerned, we're aiming for mid-August.

Next: "Who is the man in the relationship?"  Please don't ask this question.  We're both men.  That's why it's a gay couple.  There seems to be a propensity of straight people to project the image of a straight relationship on a gay relationship.  Maybe sometimes one person in a gay relationship is markedly more effeminate and the other more masculine.  However, both Conrad and I have an X and a Y chromosome, so we are both the man in the relationship.

Finally: "Can I come to the wedding?"  Anyone who would like to attend is welcome.  We don't want to send out huge numbers of invitations to everyone that we know and offend some people who are averse to same-sex marriage, so we will be sending invitations only to those who request them.  If you would like a wedding invitation (which we won't have ready for at least a month), please email me or Conrad with your mailing address (or just email address if you only want a digital copy).  We will be happy to send an invitation to anyone who requests one, regardless of whether you can make it to the wedding.  We are planning for a very small number of guests, simply because of the two simple facts that many of our friends and family live far away from DC and a large portion of them do not wish to condone same-sex marriage in general.  But we will not turn away any who wish to attend.  If you want to celebrate in our happiness together with us, then we will be happy to have you.

Please post other questions you may have about our engagement here, or on facebook or email.  I'd be happy to make another post to answer any questions I overlooked here.  Mostly, I'm just excited to finally not have to keep it secret anymore.