No regrets, just love
(The only reason I like that song is because when Glee did a cover of it, Blaine sang the lead.)
Since I have come out and started to post many homosexual-related posts here on my blog and links to my blog and other homosexual-related webpages on my Facebook page, I have had many of my friends and family either unfriend me, block me, hide my posts from their newsfeed, or stop following my blog. Each successive time I have posted a link to my blog on my Facebook account, the number of people who follow the link has steadily decreased ever since the time I announced my sexual orientation. (Just for the record, almost 700 people have viewed the post where I came out of the closet, which is far higher than I ever thought any of my blog posts would ever get.) So, naturally, the question I could ask myself (or others could ask of me) is whether I regret this, or whether I view this as an adverse outcome. To this question, I would reply in the negative.
I do not interpret someone unfriending me on Facebook as an expression that they actually do not want to be friends with me in real life. I fully understand that they can respect me and be my friend without wanting to read what I post on my wall, or follow what I post here on my blog. Therefore, I try not to take it personally when my friend count decreases. (Obviously, the natural reaction is to feel a sense of abandonment, which I admit I feel initially, but I do my best to rationalize that to abandon me is not their intent.)
Also, I have a great deal of empathy for why someone would be affronted--or at least uncomfortable--reading the things I post. To some people, even the discussion of homosexuality is unpleasant. There are those who believe it is just as immoral as fornication or adultery, and I can understand why someone would be uncomfortable participating in a discussion that includes a serious consideration of adultery. Also, many of the things I discuss and bring up are controversial, such as whether homosexual behavior is moral or whether the LDS church is true. So, I can understand 1) people having their feelings hurt and therefore wishing no longer to subject themselves to posts I make that might offend them and 2) people wanting to just avoid any form of confrontation, not necessarily being personally offended, but wanting to maintain a harmonic atmosphere. Thus, I see there are reasons why someone would want to avoid such discussion.
Do I, therefore, regret having said the things I have said and by so doing scared off people who might otherwise still remain connected with me? No. I have shared the feelings that I have had, I have been sincere in all of my efforts and in my expressions. If I were to present to the world something other than my own thoughts and feelings I would consider myself inauthentic and authenticity is something for which I strive. I have not shared anything with the intent to offend or make others uncomfortable. I have not shared with the intent of provoking anyone to anger. I have shared merely because I wished to express how I feel personally. So, I have no regrets.
I love all people, even those with whom I disagree. I have said it before, and I shall say it again many times, if anyone wishes to be my friend I shall befriend them. If anyone desires to avoid me because of my boldness in sharing my thoughts and feelings, I pass no judgment. I do not believe that friends need to agree with each other on every issue. I do not feel as though people who disagree with me on matters of opinion are wrong, nor that my way of thinking is in any way superior. I also feel like people should be allowed to openly and objectively discuss their opinions with others, even when it is a controversial matter, and still remain friends with all of those involved in the discussion. I do not believe that avoiding this topics altogether in the name of harmony is the best solution. Therefore, I will continue to love in the best way that I know how and I will assume that all those around me are doing the same.
Since I have come out and started to post many homosexual-related posts here on my blog and links to my blog and other homosexual-related webpages on my Facebook page, I have had many of my friends and family either unfriend me, block me, hide my posts from their newsfeed, or stop following my blog. Each successive time I have posted a link to my blog on my Facebook account, the number of people who follow the link has steadily decreased ever since the time I announced my sexual orientation. (Just for the record, almost 700 people have viewed the post where I came out of the closet, which is far higher than I ever thought any of my blog posts would ever get.) So, naturally, the question I could ask myself (or others could ask of me) is whether I regret this, or whether I view this as an adverse outcome. To this question, I would reply in the negative.
I do not interpret someone unfriending me on Facebook as an expression that they actually do not want to be friends with me in real life. I fully understand that they can respect me and be my friend without wanting to read what I post on my wall, or follow what I post here on my blog. Therefore, I try not to take it personally when my friend count decreases. (Obviously, the natural reaction is to feel a sense of abandonment, which I admit I feel initially, but I do my best to rationalize that to abandon me is not their intent.)
Also, I have a great deal of empathy for why someone would be affronted--or at least uncomfortable--reading the things I post. To some people, even the discussion of homosexuality is unpleasant. There are those who believe it is just as immoral as fornication or adultery, and I can understand why someone would be uncomfortable participating in a discussion that includes a serious consideration of adultery. Also, many of the things I discuss and bring up are controversial, such as whether homosexual behavior is moral or whether the LDS church is true. So, I can understand 1) people having their feelings hurt and therefore wishing no longer to subject themselves to posts I make that might offend them and 2) people wanting to just avoid any form of confrontation, not necessarily being personally offended, but wanting to maintain a harmonic atmosphere. Thus, I see there are reasons why someone would want to avoid such discussion.
Do I, therefore, regret having said the things I have said and by so doing scared off people who might otherwise still remain connected with me? No. I have shared the feelings that I have had, I have been sincere in all of my efforts and in my expressions. If I were to present to the world something other than my own thoughts and feelings I would consider myself inauthentic and authenticity is something for which I strive. I have not shared anything with the intent to offend or make others uncomfortable. I have not shared with the intent of provoking anyone to anger. I have shared merely because I wished to express how I feel personally. So, I have no regrets.
I love all people, even those with whom I disagree. I have said it before, and I shall say it again many times, if anyone wishes to be my friend I shall befriend them. If anyone desires to avoid me because of my boldness in sharing my thoughts and feelings, I pass no judgment. I do not believe that friends need to agree with each other on every issue. I do not feel as though people who disagree with me on matters of opinion are wrong, nor that my way of thinking is in any way superior. I also feel like people should be allowed to openly and objectively discuss their opinions with others, even when it is a controversial matter, and still remain friends with all of those involved in the discussion. I do not believe that avoiding this topics altogether in the name of harmony is the best solution. Therefore, I will continue to love in the best way that I know how and I will assume that all those around me are doing the same.
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Anyone is allowed to comment on this blog. As you can tell from reading my blog, I am very opinionated and I'm not afraid to share my opinion. You're welcome to disagree with me as mildly or vehemently as you like, but be aware that I will reply with my own opinions, very strongly. If you don't want that kind of open discussion, or you think it will hurt your feelings, then please avoid posting. I do try to be respectful, but my verbology often comes across as brusque.