My Life

Sunday morning, a horrific act occurred.  It was not the first and it will not be the last--whether you consider mass shootings or attacks on gay clubs, or terrorism or any kind, etc.  But the reaction to it has made me glad. Answering the call for much-needed blood in the area, thousands of people lined up to donate .  Ironically, sexually active gay people are still banned by the FDA from donating blood.  But to see the overwhelming response from concerned neighbors, friends, family, and perfect strangers is very heartwarming. I remember as a child seeing something about gay people on TV.  The memory is vague, but as I recall there was some debate as to whether or not it is a choice to be gay.  I remember at that time there was a general feeling of disgust toward gay people--either from the TV show itself or from my family.  On another occasion, I was watching a TV show and there were two teenage boys who were friends.  At one point in the ...

Someone that I know recently made the comment "damn black people" in reference to problems with crime.  When I voiced my concern about the blatant racism in this comment to a mutual friend, the friend said "Well he's right because most of the crime in this area is committed by black people." So I wanted to take some time to explain why this is upsetting to me.  I work at a historically black college.  All of my students are black.  My employer is black.  Most of my coworkers are black.  The people I associate with on a daily basis at work are almost all black.  And they are good people.  I see my students work hard and accomplish great things.  They learn what I teach and do well on my tests.  I also listen to them and try to understand what it's like being black in the USA. I am white.  For that reason, I am privileged.  I belong to the privileged class simply because the melanin count in my skin cells is a certain level. ...

I have paid more attention to this primary presidential race than any previous race in my life.  I paid a lot of attention to the 2008 election, where I was a strong supporter of libertarian Ron Paul.  My perception at the time was that most of the candidates sounded the same to me, aside from Paul.  I didn't like most of the Republicans running against him and I certainly didn't like any of the Democrats. Aside from being liberal now, instead of conservative, I feel very differently about the election this year.  To me there is a marked difference between the behavior, the dialogue, and the campaign of the Democrat candidates and the Republican candidates.  I have watched three or four of the Republican debates and several of the Democratic debates and town halls.  Without exception, every Democrat debate has been a respectful event.  The candidates did disagree on many issues, and they even interrupted each other and their voices even grew mildly i...

We humans aren't always very good at expressing empathy for one another.  We probably feel it more often than we express it, and when we express it it may not come across as empathetically as we intended it to.  But even then, I think that we don't feel empathy as often as we could--or should. I have lost so many friends over the years I couldn't hope to count them all.  Sometimes it's harmless--time or distance allows people to grow apart.  Sometimes it's gradual, sometimes it's abrupt.  Sometimes it ends very disappointingly for both parties.  It may be very hostile or peaceful.  Sometimes it hurts more than others.  I mean to focus on those times when it hurts deeply.  Perhaps it was a close friend, or perhaps the fight which ended the friendship was particularly intense or personal. I appreciate my friends who say things to try to cheer me up when a friend is lost.  Most of the comments which people make are, in my opinion, clear...

I like to think that I'm a positive person.  I like to think that I'm generally friendly, amiable, and easy going.  I like to think I have a good mix of positive things to say among the less-pleasant things.  But I just wanted to take a moment to push back against what I can best describe only as the Disney-esque positive-only perspective that I see from time to time. I had a couple cousins on Facebook who sometime around a year or two ago made a post something to the effect of "I don't want to see any negative posts in my newsfeed.  If you like being negative unfriend me."  I'm paraphrasing, this is strictly from memory, but it was the gist of the post.  So I unfriended them because I know that a good portion of my posts are negative in nature.  I post things which are critical of religion, of conservative views, etc.  Many of my posts are the opposite of feel-good lovey-dovey posts.  I didn't feel particularly close to these cousins, so i...

So, as I often do when I'm alone, I was talking to myself while I was cooking dinner just now.  I was recalling a conversation I had with an individual recently.  Based on the things he said in the conversation, I imagined in my mind's eye calling him an asshole to his face the next time I saw him.  Then I realized this particular individual might not mind being called that.  Then I realized I would mind being called that.  It would bother me if someone did. I won't pretend that I've never been unkind toward other people.  I do it far more commonly that I would like to admit.  But if someone points it out to me it makes me feel bad.  It makes me want to change.  But there are many people who do not feel that way.  So I started thinking about all of the things I care about. I realized that I want to be all the "good" things.  I want to have all of the attributes which are commonly associated with a good person, a good role model....

I've been thinking lately about the way people react when I mention my weight or body shape.  I mean for this post to be a commentary on our society, not a criticism of my friends or their comments.  I know that my friends mean well when they say these things, and I am not offended by them.  These comments have, however, given me food for thought.  I've considered them and digested them--pun intended--and what I have decided is that they are an indictment of our society. So let me be more specific.  I occasionally say or do something which points out that I have gained weight.  A year ago, I was roughly 50 pounds lighter than I am now.  There are many different ways in which I disclose this information and many different reasons for why I do so.  For example, I may poke my belly out and pat my gut--with or without words accompanying, such as "look how fat I am" or "I really like donuts."  Sometimes it's mere whimsy.  I want to show off...