My Life

I've seen lots of criticism on what people should or shouldn't post on Facebook.  I've seen people complain about political and religious posts, about pictures of food, about exercise logs or weight logs.  I've seen people say that you shouldn't put anything negative on Facebook or that you shouldn't whine or complain.  You post too much.  You don't post enough.  I've seen people criticize nearly every type of Facebook post, including being critical of other people's Facebook posts. I enjoy the variety of posts that I see in my newsfeed.  I love seeing posts about the things that are going on in the personal lives of my family and friends, particularly those that I don't get to see in person on a regular basis.  I enjoy seeing photos of them doing fun things or their new haircut or whatever other exciting thing is going on in their lives. I enjoy seeing photos of the food that my friends eat.  Some of the photos are very delicious-looking, an...

I'm definitely an advocate of authenticity .  To some degree, we do have individual identity.  I think that people should feel a degree of freedom to voice their own opinions and do the things which make them happy. Gay people should feel comfortable dating someone of the same sex, including showing affection in public and getting married.  Someone with a proclivity for art or music or science should feel free to pursue a career in that field.  I believe that allowing for people to freely express themselves is a good thing.  However, I feel that one of the great lies of our modern individualistic society is "It doesn't matter what others think." We are social animals.  We have evolved the trait of forming social groups.  This has many advantages over being individualistic animals.  We can band together to protect each other from predators or to hunt prey together.  We can specialize and have different individuals perform different tasks to ...

A very special woman passed away the other day.  She was a close friend.  Karen and I got to know her several years ago when she was taking lessons from the LDS missionaries.  She fell in love with both of us (but mostly with Karen, which is perfectly understandable).  She was devastated when Karen died, but she always wanted to remain friends with me.  She loved me like one of her own sons.  She was happy to meet Conrad when he moved in with me and became a part of my life.  She was always very friendly, loving, and accepting. She was important to me because I was important to her.  She was always so happy to see me or hear from me.  I loved dropping by and bringing her meals or just chatting and watching television with her.  I feel like I was closer to her than any of my other Knoxville friends.  She was special.  She was kind and compassionate. I got a phone call from her cell phone the other day, and answered it very ...

I've noticed that it seems very common for people to make statements similar to "You don't know me."  In fact, there's a running joke with one of my friends where whenever a slightly judgmental comment is made, one of us will say "You don't know my life." I think there are many reasons people say this.  Sometimes it is true and the person being accused of the ignorance is truly ignorant and simply doesn't understand where the other person is coming from.  That's a discussion for a different day.  Today I'd like to talk about (from my own observations and reflections) when and why this phrase is used erroneously. I blogged in the past about some of my ideas on why I think that people are less civil on the Internet than they are in person.  I think that understanding that concept will help with this one.  As social animals, we have a biological drive to form social bonds with other humans.  We try to "win people over", so to ...

I just watched the documentary Bridegroom .  It's a very poignant story about a couple in love and then the one man dies in an accident.  It's a tale of two very talented, friendly, loving men who fell in love.  It's very sad.  Most of the movie is sad.  I spent a lot of time crying. For me, it was very personal because I could relate very well to Shane because I lost the person I was in love with as well.  I cried while watching the film.  It was very powerful.  It was very emotional.  It was a cathartic experience.  I felt angry.  I felt sad.  I felt empowered.  There were many things I felt.  And I still feel them. I lost my wife to cancer 5 years ago.  It's actually rather odd to think that it's been that long, but it has.  And so I can relate to the heartbreak that Shane felt when Tom died.  But, can I really?  The documentary isn't about Shane losing Tom.  It's not about one man dyin...

Most world views include an explanation for our lusts--our desires.  Many religions teach that these desires are evil and come from a devil.  These desires should be kept in check in order to keep oneself pure and void of evil.  I'll name some specific examples.  The lust of food, gluttony.  This is one of the deadly sins.  The lust of sex is another.  Many religions teach that these are enticings of an evil spirit trying to get us to do things we oughtn't do.  In fact, we even talk about a brownie looking "tempting", or call an attractive woman a "temptress". I think that the naturalist world view is far more logical.  We have these desires not because there is an evil entity attempting to trick us and make us miserable, but because there are logical reasons for them.  In fact, when put in light of evolution these desires make perfect sense.  The desires that we experience--our impulses--arise from the desire to perpetuate the sp...

On my way to work the other day, I saw a man standing at the corner at the end of the offramp.  He was holding a sign that said "I could be stealing."  I don't know anything else about him.  I will assume that he was being honest, that he sincerely did need money just to get by.  That may not be the case, but that discussion is separate from the one I wish to engage in here.  So the entire discussion will be under the assumption that he was being honest. It made me think.  Well, it also made me want to help him out.  I considered picking him up and taking him somewhere, even allowing him to live with me.  I didn't do anything--I didn't even give him money or anything.  I considered several options.  But the sign made me think.  He could be stealing.  He could be trying to survive by taking things from people and pawning them, by picking pockets and taking cash or making cash advances with people's credit cards.  I've los...