My Life

This is the "I'm an ex-Mormon" video of Kevin Millet. You can read more about him here . I have seen many of these "I'm an ex-mormon" videos during the last couple months since I have become disaffected with the Mormon church.  This is one that I can identify with very well.  At one point in the video he says that when he left the church he found out that he didn't know what his  views were on things--he didn't know what he  believed, he only knew what the church told him to believe.  I have found the same thing true for me.  I soaked in the whole mormon atmosphere--the social aspect, the doctrine, the rituals and practices.  I was Mormon inside and out.  Haha.  I've been watching Star Trek: The Next Generation  recently and just as I'm writing this post I got the image of "We are borg.  Prepare to be assimilated.  Resistance is futile."  That is a very good way of describing this emotion.  It's as if all of my ...

A while back I wrote a post about conformity .  I'd like to continue along the lines of that post and add some more thoughts I've had recently. It seems as though humans have a propensity to fear that which is unknown and that which is different.  This fear manifests in many different ways.  It could be discrimination, acts of violence, bondage, avoidance, or destruction (including wars).  The most recent difference that we have overcome (at least in most parts of the world) is that of racial difference.  Just a couple generations ago, a white person would never dream of (openly) dating a black person, and now no one bats an eye at an interracial couple.  A few generations before that, black people were not even treated as people--they were considered property and were treated as such.  They were bought and sold in the marketplace.  They were whipped and beaten if they did not perform their assigned tasks given by their owners.  Many tragic...

The word "agenda" certainly has come to have a negative connotation in our society--specifically when used in a political context.  So, when I hear the phrase "the gay agenda", I think of a secret council of gay people meeting in a secret room somewhere secretly devising a plan to overthrow heterosexual society and replace it with an entire world filled with gay people. So, what is this "gay agenda" that Christian fundamentalists keep talking about?  What is the hidden objective behind asking for social and legal recognition for gay couples?  Do gay people secretly want to make everyone else turn gay too?  If so, I'll let the cat out of the bag now--gay people understand that sexual orientation isn't a choice, so they know that making straight people gay is impossible.  So, that can't be it.  Ok, do gay people secretly want to take over the world and make straight people subservient?  It's possible, and I'm sure some of them want to i...

I have posted the latest version of my book.  It includes a chapter about Conrad--how we met and fell in love. Note that as of yet, I have only updated the version that includes the pornography addiction as well, so the homosexuality-only version is still the older version updated back in March. Here is the link .

In the LDS church, people have the opportunity of getting what is called a patriarchal blessing.  This blessing is given by a special priesthood holder, one set apart as a patriarch.  They are informed that this blessing is personal scripture--revelation from God to the individual getting the blessing, through the patriarch.  This is the only blessing in the church that is recorded.  The church keeps a copy and gives another copy to the individual.  Also, the recipient is instructed that this is sacred and should only be shared with close family members or intimate friends, not to be widely published or casually discussed. I received my patriarchal blessing shortly after I turned 17.  I have read it many times in my life, and have even made notes on it from impressions that I've had while reading it.  Even after the point I decided to leave the church, and even now that I no longer believe the church, I still read it for guidance and wisdom. I no lon...

(No, this isn't a post about a vacuum cleaner.) The integrity of the upright shall guide them: but the perverseness of transgressors shall destroy them. - Proverbs 11:3 I remember back in my high school seminary class my teacher was explaining to us what the word "upright" meant.  He said that if in 10 years when we ran into him and were able to look him in the eye as we were shaking hands with him, that would be a good indication that we were "upright".  Then, he told a story about an old friend he had that he hadn't seen in a while.  His friend had started doing things that the church taught were wrong (maybe drugs or alcohol or something, I really don't remember) and when he ran into him his friend was unable to look at him--he just stared at the ground and was very ashamed.  So, I promised myself right then that I would remain an "upright" man for the rest of my life. The reason I tell this story is because since I have come out and my ...

There have been many reasons given throughout the ages for one group of people to hate, wage war on, or discriminate against another group of people.  Sadly, a great number of these types of aggression have had a religious basis for motivation.  The Crusades and the Inquisition are a very good example.  But there have been many "holy wars" due to people having differing religious beliefs.  Just a few decades ago, people used religious beliefs to be racist.  And, even today, there still are some fringe racist groups--many of which remain hateful because of their religious beliefs. Of course, I don't mean to make religion seem to be "the bad guy".  There are also those who hate religion and religious people, and that hate is just as real and as unjust as hate from religious people.  Different religious groups of people have been persecuted throughout time for their beliefs, including these modern times.  In America, it is not altogether uncommon f...