Valuable values

 I'm a fairly simple man. I just want to live in peace with other people. There are a handful of people that I like and the rest I either tolerate or avoid if I can. But I am a pacifist. I believe that grown ups should be able to resolve their differences with words rather than with physical violence. The only people I've ever exchanged blows with (physically) are siblings and even then I haven't done that in my adult life, only as a child and adolescent. I don't see the benefit in it, just as I don't see the benefit in war.

I suppose I can be idealistic, and perhaps I too often give people the benefit of the doubt (mostly because it is the simplest way for me to live my life). So I suppose it was naiveté that led to my belief that most people hold similar values to me--that is, that they eschew violence and embrace harmony. I had hope that people would see Trump for what he is--a bully. But that clearly didn't happen. Even after 4 years of him being a bully president there were still enough registered voters in the USA to elect him for a second term. As an educator, I would hope that people would see that behaving in that way would lead to no good. However, not only has it worked for Trump but others are seeing that it works for him and they're hopping on the bandwagon. 

I've seen video clips of Elon Musk talking/being interviewed years ago and the things that he said at the time seemed fairly reasonable. He seemed like a more or less reasonable person with maybe a different perspective on things. Then something happened. He got red-pilled? Whatever you want to call it, it seemed quite drastic. He tweeted about buying Twitter and then tried to say it was a joke. Then he was basically forced to buy Twitter, so he went all-in. He fired tons of people right away, changed the name of the company, drastically changed the way the platform worked. The part that I thought was absolutely hilarious was that he seemed genuinely surprised that when he made the blue checkmark a subscription that anyone could buy, all of a sudden people were buying blue check marks to pose as people and organizations they had no connection with. His surprise made me laugh because that's just how the Internet works, and it seemed like he didn't anticipate it at all. 

Anyway, the point is that he basically started acting like Trump. And at the time I didn't see what his long game was, I assumed he was just being a child. But since Trump has taken office for his second term, it is clear to me that at least part of the reason he started being the horrible bag of human garbage that he is now is so he could be in the position of power he now has. And conservatives are not critical of him or of Trump. They are happy about the things the two of them are doing. They're rejoicing. So it's apparent to me that a significant portion of the population holds values that are entirely and wholly incompatible with my own.

I know one of the reasons conservatives like Trump and Musk is that they see them as strong men. (And since both of these men have changed so much over the years, I'm just talking about since Trump ran the first time and since roughly the time Musk bought Twitter.) These men don't apologize for anything ever. They don't admit guilt. They don't admit wrongdoing. They deny and deflect. They vociferously attack their accusers anytime they're accused of anything and play the victim card, acting like the whole world is against them instead of taking one shred of responsibility for their own words and actions. They impose their will on everyone else, and that's seen as a very strong position to take.

To me, all of those things are signs of weakness. Trump can't bear the thought of being inferior to anyone, and admitting guilt would be admitting inferiority (in his mind), so he can't bring himself to do it even if in his head he honestly knows that he is guilty. He's acting out of fear. And that goes a long way to explain most of the actions of people like him. A person who is truly strong will apologize when it's necessary, will admit guilt when they are guilty, and will seek to correct mistakes they've made when they realize they've made them, rather than dig themselves into a deeper hole by doubling down on their mistake. 

I've seen conservatives defend Trump. My own brother asserted that he thinks Trump is a good example of a kind, compassionate man. I honestly couldn't believe I'd read his email correctly when he said that to me. I read it multiple times to make sure I'd read it correctly. I could draw no conclusion from the assertion other than that he and I are living in differing realities. I can't fathom someone looking at the actions that man has taken and arriving at the conclusion he even knows what compassion is, or that he's even remotely capable of kindness. After conversing with my brother further, it became clear to me that it is due to the fact that he and I have a very different definition of what compassion is. In my mind, being compassionate means trying to understand where another person is coming from, giving them the benefit of the doubt, allowing them mercy where you might not otherwise do, forgiving them for their past actions. In my brother's mind, compassion means convincing someone that they are wrong to be afraid of something rather than trying to understand that fear and seek to comfort them.

And so it is with a heavy heart I've finally concluded that it must be the case that there is a significant portion of the electorate--significant enough to elect whom they will to the White House--which has a set of values which lies in complete opposition to my own. They do not value kindness or compassion. They do not value forgiveness. They don't value maturity and responsibility. They value cruelty and iron-willed thinking, a leader who seeks to impose his own views on all people. They are not horrified by the cruel things that Trump has done and will continue to do. They glory in it. They are rallied by the awful, terrible things that he does while he's in office. They rejoice in him stripping away the rights of women and oppressed minorities. They cheer as he defunds programs which benefit disabled people, poor people, and people with chronic serious illnesses. They don't value diversity, equity, or inclusion. They fear people who are different from them and want to shame them for being different. They want trans people to remain in hiding. They want gay people to go back in the closet. They want people with different skin color to move to a different country. They have no place in their hearts for anyone who doesn't fit into their cookie-cutter life. They want a homogenous white America. Nothing less will satisfy them, and they're elated that Trump and Musk clearly want those things as well. 

People are finding out that misbehaving in the way that Trump does--throwing temper tantrums on social media, making sweeping and reductive generalizations about groups of people, and being intolerant are values that get people ahead in life. I have to accept the fact that these are not qualities which will cause people to dislike you, because empirical data suggests otherwise. Twice he's been elected to office and the entire time, during all three of his campaigns, during his first time, and during the entirety of Biden's term, Trump has been a childish nightmare and yet people still like him and vote for him and defend his horrendous behavior. 

I refuse to adopt any of the qualities that these conservatives have whole-heartedly embraced. I refuse to reduce myself to that level of ignorance. I refuse to revere people who got ahead by lying, cheating, and being cruel. I will not change my values just because I have come to the realization that millions of Americans hold opposing values. I will remain steadfast in the belief that true maturity is more respectable. I value those who are honest, those who admit their mistakes, those who choose to include people who are different and celebrate diversity. I value diversity, equity, and inclusion and I will align myself with other people and organizations that do the same.