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Alpha Blockers

So I enjoy Final Fantasy games. I've been a fan of the series since I was a young child. I had friends down the street who had Final Fantasy II and III (those were the numbers given in their original USA release, but were in fact the 4th and 6th games in the series respectively). From that time until now I have owned and played every Final Fantasy game aside from 11, which was online only and at the time it was out I had neither the money for the monthly subscription nor a computer capable of running the game.

Lately I've been playing Final Fantasy 14, which is the second online game in the series. I find it to be a rather enjoyable game. And I find a vast majority of the people who play to be rather friendly people. The nature of a massively multiplayer online game is that you do quests and run through dungeons with other players. Each person controls one character in the game and you work together to defeat a difficult enemy. In most cases, people don't say much when they're playing with people they don't know. Sometimes a basic greeting is given at the start of a dungeon and a basic "thank you" is given at the end, if anything at all. Sometimes people ask or answer questions or give advice. Every once in a while there is negativity.

If the negative people were more common than they are, it would deter me from playing the game altogether. Fortunately, in the time I've been playing (916 cumulative hours), I've only encountered a handful of people who are unpleasant. Today was one of those days. There was one player who refused to cooperate with the group. He was rather unpleasant. He kept dying and did not accept any attempts to resurrect him for the duration of the battle. In the chat, he just pointed fingers at other people and pointed out why no one else was doing what they were supposed to be doing.

Honestly I'm not certain who he was addressing because he never called anyone out by name. I know at least one of his comments was directed at me because he was commenting on something that I did. I admit I messed up on the thing he called me out on. I was uncertain what to do at a certain point and I did not figure it out until it was too late. It may have been that all of his comments were directed at me. Or perhaps at several different people. I know that no one else who was responding to him took his side. Some people criticized him back for things that he had done wrong earlier on.

All I know from this is that he was a rather unpleasant person and I was glad I didn't have to spend long interacting with him. Sadly, he got the same reward as the rest of us for literally contributing nothing to the group. I understand my students' frustration when this happens to them when they do group projects. (I mean, I know from personal experience, having had to do group projects as a student myself, but this is a fresher memory at this point, and it is very similar.)

One thing that stuck out to me is that he was calling other people "beta males". Now, I won't presume his political views from that (nor is it relevant). However, it does seem to be the case that conservatives are the ones constantly talking about "alpha males" and "beta males" and bragging about how it's so nice to have an "alpha male" in the White House. Honestly, from what I can tell an "alpha male" is someone who badmouths other people and takes no responsibility for his own shortcomings. That is certainly the behavior this particular player was exhibiting as he called other people in the group "beta males". If an alpha male is someone who just puts others down, finds fault with everyone but himself, and only accepts credit for his actions when they are perceived to be good actions, then I certainly never wish to be labeled as an alpha male. I do not want to possess those qualities. I would prefer to be someone who speaks kindly of others, and who admits when he has done something wrong. If that makes me a "beta male", then so be it. I don't care about the label as much as the traits being portrayed. If a beta male is someone who admits when they've done something wrong, tries to change because of it, and is polite toward other people, then I consider it to be a compliment.

Fortunately, in the game, it is easy enough to block players when they are like that. So I'll never have to deal with that particular person in-game again (at least, not that character--he may have other characters that he plays). But I may run into that kind of player again. Hopefully not often. But for real-life, there is no "block" feature. I need to learn how to live with people like that. I don't know what to do in real life when something like that happens. So far I haven't had to deal with it--at least not often. But what would I do in such a setting? I'm unsure. Maybe the best thing is to remove myself from the situation as fast as possible. If removal is impossible, perhaps I can do my best to limit my interactions with the unpleasant person. I know it won't do any good to aggravate the person, to become violent or aggressive toward them, or to give them the satisfaction of knowing that they're getting under my skin. Aside from that, I am uncertain what to do. I am grateful for the fact that it seems in real life people like that are even more infrequent than they are in the game I enjoy.

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