My Life

We humans aren't always very good at expressing empathy for one another.  We probably feel it more often than we express it, and when we express it it may not come across as empathetically as we intended it to.  But even then, I think that we don't feel empathy as often as we could--or should. I have lost so many friends over the years I couldn't hope to count them all.  Sometimes it's harmless--time or distance allows people to grow apart.  Sometimes it's gradual, sometimes it's abrupt.  Sometimes it ends very disappointingly for both parties.  It may be very hostile or peaceful.  Sometimes it hurts more than others.  I mean to focus on those times when it hurts deeply.  Perhaps it was a close friend, or perhaps the fight which ended the friendship was particularly intense or personal. I appreciate my friends who say things to try to cheer me up when a friend is lost.  Most of the comments which people make are, in my opinion, clear...

I like to think that I'm a positive person.  I like to think that I'm generally friendly, amiable, and easy going.  I like to think I have a good mix of positive things to say among the less-pleasant things.  But I just wanted to take a moment to push back against what I can best describe only as the Disney-esque positive-only perspective that I see from time to time. I had a couple cousins on Facebook who sometime around a year or two ago made a post something to the effect of "I don't want to see any negative posts in my newsfeed.  If you like being negative unfriend me."  I'm paraphrasing, this is strictly from memory, but it was the gist of the post.  So I unfriended them because I know that a good portion of my posts are negative in nature.  I post things which are critical of religion, of conservative views, etc.  Many of my posts are the opposite of feel-good lovey-dovey posts.  I didn't feel particularly close to these cousins, so i...

So, as I often do when I'm alone, I was talking to myself while I was cooking dinner just now.  I was recalling a conversation I had with an individual recently.  Based on the things he said in the conversation, I imagined in my mind's eye calling him an asshole to his face the next time I saw him.  Then I realized this particular individual might not mind being called that.  Then I realized I would mind being called that.  It would bother me if someone did. I won't pretend that I've never been unkind toward other people.  I do it far more commonly that I would like to admit.  But if someone points it out to me it makes me feel bad.  It makes me want to change.  But there are many people who do not feel that way.  So I started thinking about all of the things I care about. I realized that I want to be all the "good" things.  I want to have all of the attributes which are commonly associated with a good person, a good role model....

I've been thinking lately about the way people react when I mention my weight or body shape.  I mean for this post to be a commentary on our society, not a criticism of my friends or their comments.  I know that my friends mean well when they say these things, and I am not offended by them.  These comments have, however, given me food for thought.  I've considered them and digested them--pun intended--and what I have decided is that they are an indictment of our society. So let me be more specific.  I occasionally say or do something which points out that I have gained weight.  A year ago, I was roughly 50 pounds lighter than I am now.  There are many different ways in which I disclose this information and many different reasons for why I do so.  For example, I may poke my belly out and pat my gut--with or without words accompanying, such as "look how fat I am" or "I really like donuts."  Sometimes it's mere whimsy.  I want to show off...