Skip to main content


Today the Supreme Court of the United States is hearing arguments in the case Obergefell v Hodges.  In this case, the court will decide two questions.
1. Does the Fourteenth Amendment require a state to license a marriage between two people of the same sex?
2. Does the Fourteenth Amendment require a state to recognize a marriage between two people of the same sex when their marriage was lawfully licensed and performed out-of-state?

I can't describe how excited I am.  I've been following along on the live blog.  I plan to listen to the audio of the argument later today when I have time.  Tears started to well up in my eyes as I thought about it.  This will definitely be an historic case, at least if it is decided in favor of equality.

I think that perhaps some of my heterosexual friends will understand, but I doubt many will, just how much this means to me.  It's thrilling.  It's invigorating.  To think that we're this close to seeing the day when marriage equality is a reality all over the country is truly amazing.

What does this case mean to me?  It won't change my relationship with Conrad.  Nothing the government can do will change that.  But it will change society.  It will send the message that gay couples are normal.  That gay people are normal.  It will, in essence, normalize gay marriage.  It will assert that marriages consisting of two people of the same sex are just as valid and acceptable as those consisting of two people of the opposite sex.

I remember when I was younger at one point my dad said "There's no such thing as black rights, or women's rights, or gay rights.  Just human rights."  And he's right.  That's true.  But I think that when conservative people say that they mean something different than when a liberal says that.  They often mean "Therefore, there's no need for civil rights movements." which is demonstrably false.  The reason for the black movement, the feminist movement, the gay rights movement, all of those, is because we do not have equal rights.

There was a point in US history where women could not vote.  There was a time when black people could not vote.  There was a time when black people only counted as three-fifths of a person on the census.  And currently gay people do not have the right to marry--not nationwide.  This will be monumental.  We need movements for specific groups of people such as blacks, gays, and women, because these groups do not currently have equal rights.  We need to change the law so that we do have equal rights.  And that's what the marriage equality movement is all about.

It will likely be near the end of June before the court announces its decision on this case.  Most people speculate that the court will decide 5-4 or 6-3 in favor of equality.  I hope that this is the case.  If the court decides that marriage is purely a state's rights issue then it may be years or decades before some states allow equality.  However, I know that it will eventually happen.  Twenty years ago, public opinion was 27% in favor of marriage equality and 68% against.  More recent polls show that those numbers have nearly flipped.  For the last three or four years, polls have shown that a majority of Americans favor marriage equality.  And those numbers will continue to rise until just a small percentage of radical conservatives oppose it.

I will marry my boyfriend.  It will be a fabulous (albeit small and quiet) gay wedding.  We will invite the people who are near and dear to us.  It will be a happy celebration.  Not just a celebration of our union, but a celebration of the triumph of equality becoming the law of the land.  We will celebrate finally being recognized by the government as equal.  We will celebrate future generations of gay youth who will be raised in an environment much more conducive to them living an authentic and normal life.  We will celebrate one step closer to a "more perfect union."

Popular posts from this blog

What's a gainer?

If you haven't already done so, I would suggest reading my previous post before reading this one.  It's sort of an introduction and gives the motivation.  Also, by way of disclosure, this post is not sexually explicit but it does touch on the topic of sexuality and how that relates to the subject at hand.

So, what is a gainer?  I'll relate, as best I can, the experiences I have gone through myself to help answer the question.  I remember when I was a young boy--perhaps around 6 or 7--I would have various fantasies.  Not sexual fantasies, just daydreaming about hypothetical situations that I thought were interesting or entertaining.  I had many different fantasies.  Sometimes I would fantasize about becoming very muscular, sometimes about becoming very fat.  
These fantasies varied in degree of magnitude and the subject of the fantasy.  Sometimes I myself would change weight--I would become muscular or fat.  Other times, I would do something to make other people fat or musc…

Karing about others

Mostly because I have been thinking about her lately, I feel compelled to write about someone who was very dear to me.  Many people who have met me in the last several years may not be aware of the fact that I was married to a woman for 3 years. I understand there can be lots of confusion whenever I mention it, and misunderstandings or misconceptions might occur. So I would like to take this opportunity to discuss my feelings about her.

Shortly after I came out, I attended a party for ex-Mormon gay people. Many of them had been married (to someone of the opposite sex), as I had. Most of those marriages had ended in divorce. Sometimes the divorce was very ugly, other times it was rather pleasant and they remained friends throughout the process. I assume it is because of the ugly divorce scenarios that this statement was made to me. Upon revealing that I had previously been married to a woman and that the marriage had ended in her death, a man said to me that it was good that it had end…

The scientific method vs the religious method

I find it interesting when people cite the fact that science keeps changing as a reason to disbelieve it and to believe instead in the "eternal" doctrines taught by some church or other.  Let's examine why science keeps changing.  Here's the scientific method.

Develop a hypothesis (this means "have a belief").Design an experiment to test the hypothesis.Conduct the experiment.Determine whether the hypothesis is believable based on the results of the experiment. This is why science keeps changing--because people notice flaws in it and correct them.  People once thought the solar system was geocentric, but now know that it's heliocentric.  How did this happen?  By using the scientific method.  Scientists are willing to admit that they're wrong.  They're willing to give up a bad idea when they see evidence that it makes no sense.  Contrast this with the religious method (simplified version). Have a belief.Look for evidence to support that belief.Ignor…