Skip to main content

Turn your head and cough

So, embarrassing things happen at the doctor's office.  Sometimes the doctor needs to examine private parts of your body.  Sometimes the tests he does feel quite invasive.  I know that when I was younger, I was always embarrassed.  I still vividly remember the first time I was asked to take my pants off at the doctor's office (when he wanted to check for a hernia).  My mom was in the exam room with me.  The doctor said to pull my pants down.  I looked over my shoulder at my mom with the look of "Should I really do it?"

I believe part of the reason for this embarrassment was because I was raised to believe that parts of the body are embarrassing.  That my body is something I should be ashamed of showing off.  I was always scared to change in public locker rooms--at public swimming pools and my school gym classes.  I was mortified that I had to shower in public in middle school.

But my outlook on modesty and on my own body has changed over the last few years.  I have learned it is psychologically beneficial for children to be raised with the mentality that nudity is acceptable.  That there is nothing wrong with the human body--even the parts of it that we typically call "private".  Understanding that there is nothing to be ashamed of, no reason to be embarrassed about others seeing parts of your body.

I recently went to my doctor's office.  He stuck a device up my butt.  I was kneeling there with my bottom exposed for quite a while as he did the procedure.  One thing that stuck out to me was that I wasn't embarrassed in the slightest.  I didn't mind him seeing my bare bottom.  I didn't mind him sticking things in it.  There wasn't any shame or embarrassment.  I didn't feel violated or indecently exposed.  It felt just as natural as him looking in my mouth or my ear.  I have definitely changed a lot since my days of being conservative.

I think one of the common arguments in favor of modesty is that nudity or revealing clothing is too erotic and will cause people (usually men) to have sexual thoughts and desires.  That certain human bodies are attractive to certain people I will not deny.  Thus, there is truth in this argument.  But when carried to its extreme, the argument essentially asserts that the person having the sexual thoughts is incapable of controlling them.  And so I think there should be a shift in emphasis.  We shouldn't claim that the way a person dresses forces someone else to have uncontrollable urges that ey must satisfy.  We should claim that each person is responsible for eir own actions, even when ey see things (or people) that may be tempting.

I personally don't have any problem controlling myself when I see someone that I feel is attractive.  I've never had a problem.  I've never wanted to rape anyone.  I've never felt an uncontrollable urge to make unwanted advances on someone simply because they were wearing clothing that showed more of their body than a business suit would cover.  And I have found, in my own experience, that as a general rule, people who are more open about nudity are more likely to be able to control themselves and those who believe more strongly that immodesty is always bad have a more difficult time controlling their feelings when they're around it.

Essentially what I'm saying is, if you want to be able to see someone wearing little clothing and not have an overwhelming urge to touch the person inappropriately, then you should be around immodestly dressed people more often.  Get comfortable with it.  I would be far more comfortable walking around naked at a clothing optional resort for gay men than in front of a closeted conservative christian gay man.  At the resort, I may get some attention, but I'm much less worried about being harassed or molested.

Popular posts from this blog

What's a gainer?

If you haven't already done so, I would suggest reading my previous post before reading this one.  It's sort of an introduction and gives the motivation.  Also, by way of disclosure, this post is not sexually explicit but it does touch on the topic of sexuality and how that relates to the subject at hand.

So, what is a gainer?  I'll relate, as best I can, the experiences I have gone through myself to help answer the question.  I remember when I was a young boy--perhaps around 6 or 7--I would have various fantasies.  Not sexual fantasies, just daydreaming about hypothetical situations that I thought were interesting or entertaining.  I had many different fantasies.  Sometimes I would fantasize about becoming very muscular, sometimes about becoming very fat.  
These fantasies varied in degree of magnitude and the subject of the fantasy.  Sometimes I myself would change weight--I would become muscular or fat.  Other times, I would do something to make other people fat or musc…

The scientific method vs the religious method

I find it interesting when people cite the fact that science keeps changing as a reason to disbelieve it and to believe instead in the "eternal" doctrines taught by some church or other.  Let's examine why science keeps changing.  Here's the scientific method.

Develop a hypothesis (this means "have a belief").Design an experiment to test the hypothesis.Conduct the experiment.Determine whether the hypothesis is believable based on the results of the experiment. This is why science keeps changing--because people notice flaws in it and correct them.  People once thought the solar system was geocentric, but now know that it's heliocentric.  How did this happen?  By using the scientific method.  Scientists are willing to admit that they're wrong.  They're willing to give up a bad idea when they see evidence that it makes no sense.  Contrast this with the religious method (simplified version). Have a belief.Look for evidence to support that belief.Ignor…

Cancel the gym

After I went to the gym this morning, I pulled in to the McDonald's drive through.  While waiting for my food, I played out in my mind a possible conversation I might have with someone concerning just this.  In fact, I have had many real conversations of similar nature.
"How was your morning?"
"It was good.  I went to the gym.  Then I grabbed a late breakfast at McDonald's on my way to work."
"Won't that cancel out?"
"Cancel what?"
"Going to McDonald's after the gym.  Won't that undo all the work you just did?"

I understand the humor.  I laugh about it.  It's funny.  And I think humor is an important thing, and that we should all laugh a little bit more and be offended a little bit less.  And so I write this not up-in-arms, but in the attempts of perhaps reaching some of those who literally believe this line of reasoning.

To the person who asserts that eating "cancels out" going to the gym, I ask just this…