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To My Lover

A long time ago, 
In a land far away
My heart had once seen
A far humbler day. 

The heart of a child,
Void of vengeance and fear. 
A heart full of love
For all those with me here. 

I loved and was loved
With the ease of a child. 
My smile was eager
My manners were mild. 

Now, where is this heart?
And whence has it gone?
'Twas bruised and 'twas broken
'Twas left feeling lone. 

All battered and sore
And needing some healing,
I bandaged it up
To keep it from bleeding. 

"My heart is too soft
I must make it stronger,
For if I do not
It shan't last much longer."

Hence up comes a wall
And closed is the shutter. 
My feelings shall not
Be sliced up like butter. 

I'll hide what I think,
Conceal what I feel. 
Leave everyone guessing
What's fake and what's real. 

My heart is too precious,
I can't leave it out 
For gossips and fraudsters
To toss it about. 

I'll tease you and mock you
And do what it takes
To keep my own heart
From being harmed by the rakes. 

Sarcasm and jest
These now are my friends
In keeping my heart
From meeting its end. 

And so here I am
All happy and pleasant
In treating all men
As a humbug or peasant. 

So happy to tease
So quick to belittle. 
The poison and dart
Are my bow and my fiddle. 

So happy at last,
My fortress erected
To keep others out
Keep my own heart protected. 

So sometimes I sling out
Some stones and some arrows. 
And why should I care,
If it keeps me from the harrows. 

But, lo! What is this?
Who's this person I see?
So gentle, so meek
With eyes like the sea. 

You found me, my love
And with joy now I weep. 
You've pierced through my wall
And entered my keep. 

The heart I once had
The heart I once knew,
I once had as lad,
Is here, now, in you. 

Your heart is so soft
So sweet and so kind,
I had only thought possible
In a child to find. 

But, nay, here it is. 
You're loving and sweet. 
A gentler man
You never shall meet. 

All those who have tried
To scale the great walls
That I put in place,
And enter my halls

They all tried in vain,
My defenses so strong
To keep anyone's siege
From lasting too long. 

But you, my dear love,
Your warmth and your cheer
Have hastened the way
From yonder to here. 

What is this I feel?
This bittersweet pain,
This hounding and howling
I hear in my brain?

'Tis the sound, oh my love
Of my heart hid away
All beaten and battered
On that fateful day. 

All my walls and my vaults
My assails and my volleys
Had made me forget
Of the one simple folly

Of hiding away
That which most makes me me:
My fettered, dark heart
Crying "please, set me free."

And so, here it is
Mi amor, do you see?
'Tis the heart of my heart
Yes, this is me. 

You see, it's not armies
Or ladders or weapons
That can breaks down my walls,
Force open my prisons

But 'tis a pure heart,
One untainted, unfettered
That Can show me, remind me
Of all that has mattered. 

My heart now is old
Besmudged and forlorn. 
Can it ever return
To its state when 'twas born?

Until I on you
Did lay my own eyes,
"Of course not!", "Absurd!"
I heard the replies. 

But here you are now,
Seeing what no one has seen
The heart that bandaged
And hidden has been. 

Will you unwrap it?
Oh, please do take care. 
It has been so long
Since I've seen what's there. 

Oh, look here, my love
Some hope on this day. 
That cut and that bruise
Have both gone away. 

Can it be? Is it so?
Oh what joy! How divine!
That your tender heart
Has now mended mine. 

Down come my walls
Away with the slings. 
The arrows and stones?
No need for those things. 

My heart now is yours,
You wonderful man. 
I'll use it and share it
As much as I can. 

You taught me this day
That the perfect defense
Is not building walls
But making amends. 

You love me so much
And I love you too. 
I'll be meek, I'll be gentle,
I'll be more like you. 

Thank you, my love,
All the pleasure is mine
For showing me how
To make my heart shine. 

Thank you, Conrad, for teaching me, by your ever-inspiring example, what it is to love. I love you. Thank you for loving me. 

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