Skip to main content

Loving your children

While I lived at home with my parents, I had much opportunity to witness how my sister treated her children.  She always encourages them in any interest that they have.  Her oldest wanted to play violin, so she found a violin for him and set him up with lessons.  Her youngest wanted to raise some chickens, so she bought some chicks and my dad helped her kids build a coop for the chickens.  She always does what she can to help her children accomplish things that they are interested in.

As I mentioned briefly before, my mom did the same thing with me.  When I was a boy and expressed interest in learning how to crochet, she taught me without hesitation.  She taught me how to sew, iron, and cook.  And, as I recall, it was almost always because I asked her to teach me.  She taught all of us children how to cook, because we each took turns cooking for the family.  But, I know for sure she didn't teach everyone how to crochet (in fact, I don't think she taught anyone except me).

I've been following this blog called Raising my Rainbow for some time now.  The author is a mother with two boys, the younger of which is effeminate. His name is CJ.  He likes girl toys, he asks to have his birthday cakes decorated with Disney princesses, and he even celebrated his 4th birthday with the princesses at Ariel's Grotto in Disneyland.

I admire this woman so much for what she is doing.  So many people try to make their children fit into a mold as they're raising them.  So many parents try to force their boys into the male stereotype and girls into the female stereotype.  (It's not just parents, either.  Friends and other students at school can be very harsh against a "girly" boy.  But that's another topic for another day.)  What's sad is that people such as Dr. Phil and Dean Byrd try to encourage parents to force their children into these narrow gender molds that we have.  Well, I have news for them--some people like tomatoes and some don't.  You don't have to be a boy to like tomatoes and a girl to like mushrooms.  So, why do we insist that only girls can like dolls and only boys can like GI Joes?

I've read stories about boys who were taught that their interest in "girly" things was bad and their parents even instituted a reward/punishment system to encourage him to fit the stereotypical male norm instead.  It is psychologically damaging to the child.  Telling them that the things they find interesting are wrong and that they should find other things to be interesting is not healthy.  So, when someone like Dr. Phil gives advice to that effect, I definitely find that to be disgusting.  Please, whatever you do, don't try to control what your child likes.  Don't try to tell them what they should be playing with or who their heroes should be.  Let them express themselves.  Let them have their own interests.  Love them for who they are.  Don't try to use love as a reason to change them into something they don't want to be.

Popular posts from this blog

What's a gainer?

If you haven't already done so, I would suggest reading my previous post before reading this one.  It's sort of an introduction and gives the motivation.  Also, by way of disclosure, this post is not sexually explicit but it does touch on the topic of sexuality and how that relates to the subject at hand.

So, what is a gainer?  I'll relate, as best I can, the experiences I have gone through myself to help answer the question.  I remember when I was a young boy--perhaps around 6 or 7--I would have various fantasies.  Not sexual fantasies, just daydreaming about hypothetical situations that I thought were interesting or entertaining.  I had many different fantasies.  Sometimes I would fantasize about becoming very muscular, sometimes about becoming very fat.  
These fantasies varied in degree of magnitude and the subject of the fantasy.  Sometimes I myself would change weight--I would become muscular or fat.  Other times, I would do something to make other people fat or musc…

The scientific method vs the religious method

I find it interesting when people cite the fact that science keeps changing as a reason to disbelieve it and to believe instead in the "eternal" doctrines taught by some church or other.  Let's examine why science keeps changing.  Here's the scientific method.

Develop a hypothesis (this means "have a belief").Design an experiment to test the hypothesis.Conduct the experiment.Determine whether the hypothesis is believable based on the results of the experiment. This is why science keeps changing--because people notice flaws in it and correct them.  People once thought the solar system was geocentric, but now know that it's heliocentric.  How did this happen?  By using the scientific method.  Scientists are willing to admit that they're wrong.  They're willing to give up a bad idea when they see evidence that it makes no sense.  Contrast this with the religious method (simplified version). Have a belief.Look for evidence to support that belief.Ignor…

Cancel the gym

After I went to the gym this morning, I pulled in to the McDonald's drive through.  While waiting for my food, I played out in my mind a possible conversation I might have with someone concerning just this.  In fact, I have had many real conversations of similar nature.
"How was your morning?"
"It was good.  I went to the gym.  Then I grabbed a late breakfast at McDonald's on my way to work."
"Won't that cancel out?"
"Cancel what?"
"Going to McDonald's after the gym.  Won't that undo all the work you just did?"

I understand the humor.  I laugh about it.  It's funny.  And I think humor is an important thing, and that we should all laugh a little bit more and be offended a little bit less.  And so I write this not up-in-arms, but in the attempts of perhaps reaching some of those who literally believe this line of reasoning.

To the person who asserts that eating "cancels out" going to the gym, I ask just this…