Those that have seen me recently can tell that I've put on a lot of weight. In fact, I've gained 80 pounds over the last year and a half. As you can imagine, I've had many comments about it, of varying natures.
The truth is that I like my body. I enjoy having a belly that I can grab and jiggle. It's kind of fun. I was at Wal-Mart the other day and saw a T-shirt that said "Doughboy" (in XXL, of course) and another that said "Go ahead and pinch me" and immediately bought them. I really like these shirts, and if I see any more like them I'll probably buy them too.
The reason for this post is to continue along the theme of my blog about raising awareness. In our culture, there's such a strong push for people to be skinny--to lose weight and to look like the Hollywood star 1% body fat anorexic supermodel. I think, though, that people are becoming more tolerant and even more educated about fat and fatness, and I want to do my part.
Whenever anyone has commented on my weight gain, I have taken it as a compliment. I like how I look, and so I interpret what other people say as reinforcing that. But, the truth is that many of the things people have said to me could be interpreted as mean or insensitive to someone who's not so comfortable with how they look. (For example, one person simply said "You're enormous!" and another said "You need to get skinny again.") Our society is very oppressive of people who are plump, and I don't think that's healthy.
I was just reading the other day that there are societies where being fat is considered a good thing, and that fat people are considered to be attractive. I didn't read all that much about it, but I wonder if people who find it difficult to gain weight feel bad for being skinny. At any rate, I personally believe that a person shouldn't have to feel like they're being judged for how they look. I don't think that someone should feel societal pressure to change their body weight. I don't think it's right when someone feels like they are ugly simply because they have a higher (or lower) body fat content.
There are health concerns, yes. There are lots of health problems that are associated with obesity. Some of these are caused by obesity, and some of them may cause obesity. So, if an individual wishes to improve their health, then maintaining a body fat percentage in the teens (or maybe low 20s) will likely help with that. Also, if a person really doesn't like the way they look and wants to gain or lose weight to change that, they should feel free to do so and, I think, should be able to expect positive, supportive reinforcement from friends to do so.
Indeed, where my own health is concerned, I probably should get out and do some exercise. I don't think I'm healthy right now, I think I might have increased risk for heart disease. And I do have a goal to maybe go jogging or ride my bike or something. But, I don't really want to lose weight. I like my belly and I don't really want to see it disappear. I just want to make my heart and muscles get into and stay in shape.
I've told many a fat joke in my day, and I still do. Now, I tell them about myself more than anyone else. All of these jokes were just meant in good fun, but I wonder how many people I personally made feel less than beautiful by making such comments. There are many things I have said that I wish I could take back. And anyone that I've teased about being fat, feel free to send any teasing back my way now that I'm fat too. As long as it's not too hurtful, I'll enjoy it (as I said before, I'll take it as a compliment).
I really find that I'm becoming the stereotypical jolly fat guy. I'm so much happier now than I ever have been before. Life is wonderful. I have a great boyfriend who loves me whether I'm fat or skinny, hairy or bald. He is a great man, and it makes me so happy that he likes my belly (almost as much as I do).
So, love your body. Love everyone else's body. Don't let Hollywood tell you what you should or should not look like.
The truth is that I like my body. I enjoy having a belly that I can grab and jiggle. It's kind of fun. I was at Wal-Mart the other day and saw a T-shirt that said "Doughboy" (in XXL, of course) and another that said "Go ahead and pinch me" and immediately bought them. I really like these shirts, and if I see any more like them I'll probably buy them too.
The reason for this post is to continue along the theme of my blog about raising awareness. In our culture, there's such a strong push for people to be skinny--to lose weight and to look like the Hollywood star 1% body fat anorexic supermodel. I think, though, that people are becoming more tolerant and even more educated about fat and fatness, and I want to do my part.
Whenever anyone has commented on my weight gain, I have taken it as a compliment. I like how I look, and so I interpret what other people say as reinforcing that. But, the truth is that many of the things people have said to me could be interpreted as mean or insensitive to someone who's not so comfortable with how they look. (For example, one person simply said "You're enormous!" and another said "You need to get skinny again.") Our society is very oppressive of people who are plump, and I don't think that's healthy.
I was just reading the other day that there are societies where being fat is considered a good thing, and that fat people are considered to be attractive. I didn't read all that much about it, but I wonder if people who find it difficult to gain weight feel bad for being skinny. At any rate, I personally believe that a person shouldn't have to feel like they're being judged for how they look. I don't think that someone should feel societal pressure to change their body weight. I don't think it's right when someone feels like they are ugly simply because they have a higher (or lower) body fat content.
There are health concerns, yes. There are lots of health problems that are associated with obesity. Some of these are caused by obesity, and some of them may cause obesity. So, if an individual wishes to improve their health, then maintaining a body fat percentage in the teens (or maybe low 20s) will likely help with that. Also, if a person really doesn't like the way they look and wants to gain or lose weight to change that, they should feel free to do so and, I think, should be able to expect positive, supportive reinforcement from friends to do so.
Indeed, where my own health is concerned, I probably should get out and do some exercise. I don't think I'm healthy right now, I think I might have increased risk for heart disease. And I do have a goal to maybe go jogging or ride my bike or something. But, I don't really want to lose weight. I like my belly and I don't really want to see it disappear. I just want to make my heart and muscles get into and stay in shape.
I've told many a fat joke in my day, and I still do. Now, I tell them about myself more than anyone else. All of these jokes were just meant in good fun, but I wonder how many people I personally made feel less than beautiful by making such comments. There are many things I have said that I wish I could take back. And anyone that I've teased about being fat, feel free to send any teasing back my way now that I'm fat too. As long as it's not too hurtful, I'll enjoy it (as I said before, I'll take it as a compliment).
I really find that I'm becoming the stereotypical jolly fat guy. I'm so much happier now than I ever have been before. Life is wonderful. I have a great boyfriend who loves me whether I'm fat or skinny, hairy or bald. He is a great man, and it makes me so happy that he likes my belly (almost as much as I do).
So, love your body. Love everyone else's body. Don't let Hollywood tell you what you should or should not look like.
Hi Keith,
ReplyDeleteI hope you are open to some feedback on this one. You may like it now but the day shortly comes when it becomes a very damaging asset that just sits there and doesn't go away. It will limit your abilities, be almost impossible to get rid of, sap your energy, damage your feet & mobility, it is a big factor in type 2 dibetis, (that alone is a life changer), and the tool betwix your legs will die....sorry
I don't mind the feedback. In fact, I am grateful that you're concerned for my current/future health. But, I think you missed the main point of the post. It's none of your business what someone else wants to do with their body. So, why do you feel a need to say something? What if I really was sensitive about how I looked or my health? That might really hurt my feelings. What if my body simply has this current weight as its natural weight that it seeks to attain, and regardless of trying very hard multiple times, I have been unsuccessful at losing more than a few pounds? That's kind of a slap in the face to all of the effort I've given it in the past. The point of the post is to think about someone else and have some empathy for them before you speak.
ReplyDeleteBelieve me, I've researched a lot about weight gain, obesity, and its associated health risks. I probably know more about it than you do. (Of course, that's merely an assumption. You may very well be in the medical field, in which case you probably do know more.) So, nothing you have said is news to me. I have studied all of this and I have made my decision. So, what is it to you? Why do you feel the need to interject your feelings about my personal life?
I'm asking these questions sincerely. I'm not trying to attack you. I really do want an answer, and I hope that these questions make you think about it for a while before responding.
I assume you're talking to me, Jeff. I'm very open. I always welcome discussion, and if you have any that you would like to add, please do so. I don't know what "it" is, but if you close off all hope of discussion with such finality as your comment indicates, then I never will be able to "get it", since I'll never know what "it" is.
ReplyDeleteYou totally missed what Keat was telling you and your response is to buzz off....then you shouldn't have made it open for comment.
ReplyDelete"It's none of your business what someone else wants to do with their body. So, why do you feel a need to say something? What if I really was sensitive about how I looked or my health?"
He's giving you a fair warning about aging that creeps up on us and then its too late
In that case, you missed the opening of my comment. I thanked him for the concern. That's more than I got from him. He didn't even give me the courtesy of a response, even though I asked very sincere questions. Clearly, you're emotionally attached to Keaton. I don't know exactly what your relationship is, and I won't assume anything. But, the point is that you're being rather unfair to me because you perceive that I'm being unkind to him. In your eyes, he is incapable of any wrong, and all conflict that arises from any interaction I've had with him (in this very short amount of time) is therefore my fault. I will not concede such nonsense.
ReplyDeleteYou truly have no interest in anyone's view but your own.What a very small man you are.
ReplyDelete