Skip to main content

Open Question

The purpose of this post is to ask a sincere question.  And I do hope to get sincere answers from people.  Once again, I do welcome any and all answers.  However, if your answer has a negative or affronting connotation, please relay it to me privately so I may preserve a friendly and respectful attitude here on my blog.

I have often, especially since the time I publicly announced my sexual orientation, heard statements to the effect of "I don't agree with homosexuality.", the verbology of which has perplexed me greatly.  What is it that you don't agree with?  Quite often the statement is even more vague, such as "I don't agree with you." or simply "I disagree."  Sometimes it's prefaced with some sort of expression of love, such as "I love you and respect you, but I don't agree with you."  Sometimes people are more specific, such as "I disagree with your choices." or "I disagree with your decision to marry a man."

So, I have pondered over this matter quite extensively.  My first reaction when I hear someone say something to that effect is "They haven't thought about this matter at all and are just saying the first thing that rolls off their tongue."  I like to avoid jumping to conclusions--sometimes I succeed and sometimes I don't.  Anyway, here is a list of possibilities I have come up with as interpretations for the phrase "I don't agree with homosexuality."  It's quite possible that, with as many people as I have heard say this, each item listed has been the proper interpretation of at least one instance of someone saying that phrase.

  1. "I haven't thought about this before, so I don't know anything about it."
  2. "My church tells me that it's immoral, so I'm going with that right now."
  3. "I don't feel attractions to members of the same sex, so I don't think you do either."
  4. "I don't agree with your statement that this is a permanent condition."
  5. "I don't believe that you should engage in homosexual behavior."
  6. "I don't believe that you should marry someone of the same sex."
  7. "I don't believe that it's natural to feel attractions to members of the same sex, so I don't believe that you naturally feel that way.  It must be something you decided for yourself or caused yourself to become that way."
  8. "I believe that you are attracted to people of the same sex, but I don't believe that you should enter a gay relationship because of it."
Those are all of the ones that I have come up with so far.  I'm sure there are others, and if you have any, I would certainly love to hear them.  For the moment, though, I would like to take the opportunity to state what I would say in reply to each of the above remarks.
  1. If you haven't given it much thought, then go and think about it some more before you say anything.  Or, ask me about it.  I can tell you all about homosexuality and how it feels to be homosexual.
  2. I certainly respect everyone's religious views, including your right to believe that my actions are immoral.  I do ask, though, that you think about it, research it, and decide for yourself rather than just take the word of your religion.
  3. Let me see if I can come up with a good analogy here.  Some (straight) guys are mainly attracted to blonde women, while others are mainly attracted to brunettes.  If you are one of the former category, do you stare in disbelief at a man who tells you that he is of the latter?  Do you understand the concept of "types" (as in "She's not my type.")?  Think of it this way: your "type" is people of the opposite sex, and my "type" is people of the same sex.
  4. I really don't know how to respond to that.  You can make all the conjectures you like about what I'm feeling inside my own body, but until you are me and feel what I'm feeling, how can you come to any sure conclusion.  Furthermore, how would you feel if I were to say that I didn't believe that your heterosexuality was a permanent condition for you?
  5. That's wonderful.  I am glad for your feedback, and I hope you'll respect my decision to ignore it.  I do believe that I should engage in homosexual behavior.  If you don't want to engage in it, that's fine.
  6. Close enough to #5.
  7. Close enough to #4.  But, additionally, if there is anything, with substantial evidence backing the idea, that you feel like I have done to cause myself to become homosexual, please let me know what it is.  I have heard many conjectures and have eventually rejected each one.
  8. You are attracted to people of the opposite sex.  Do you believe that you should enter into a straight relationship because of that?  Then, why is this different?  Why should I not date a person that I'm attracted to?  After all, that's exactly what you do.
One more time, I would like to extend the invitation to all who wish to answer the question--if you have said something to the effect of "I disagree with homosexuality", then what is it you meant by that statement?  I would love to respond to each individual answer that may be given.  If you don't want an argument, all you have to do is say so.  Even if you don't want me to rebut your answer, please feel welcome to give it.  Oh, and please stay on topic.  If you just want to argue about homosexuality with me, please do so in a different medium (email would be great).

Popular posts from this blog

What's a gainer?

If you haven't already done so, I would suggest reading my previous post before reading this one.  It's sort of an introduction and gives the motivation.  Also, by way of disclosure, this post is not sexually explicit but it does touch on the topic of sexuality and how that relates to the subject at hand.

So, what is a gainer?  I'll relate, as best I can, the experiences I have gone through myself to help answer the question.  I remember when I was a young boy--perhaps around 6 or 7--I would have various fantasies.  Not sexual fantasies, just daydreaming about hypothetical situations that I thought were interesting or entertaining.  I had many different fantasies.  Sometimes I would fantasize about becoming very muscular, sometimes about becoming very fat.  
These fantasies varied in degree of magnitude and the subject of the fantasy.  Sometimes I myself would change weight--I would become muscular or fat.  Other times, I would do something to make other people fat or musc…

The scientific method vs the religious method

I find it interesting when people cite the fact that science keeps changing as a reason to disbelieve it and to believe instead in the "eternal" doctrines taught by some church or other.  Let's examine why science keeps changing.  Here's the scientific method.

Develop a hypothesis (this means "have a belief").Design an experiment to test the hypothesis.Conduct the experiment.Determine whether the hypothesis is believable based on the results of the experiment. This is why science keeps changing--because people notice flaws in it and correct them.  People once thought the solar system was geocentric, but now know that it's heliocentric.  How did this happen?  By using the scientific method.  Scientists are willing to admit that they're wrong.  They're willing to give up a bad idea when they see evidence that it makes no sense.  Contrast this with the religious method (simplified version). Have a belief.Look for evidence to support that belief.Ignor…

Gymtimidation

Like many of my posts, this one has been floating around in my mind for a couple months.  I know many people avoid the gym because it is intimidating, so I'd like to share my thoughts about this phenomenon.  First of all, obviously going to the gym isn't the only intimidating thing in life, and many of these thoughts are things that easily translate to any other of these intimidating things.

So I'd like to share some of my personal experiences with gyms.  The first time I recall ever going into a weight room to use it was my first year of college.  I had PE classes all through K-12, but I don't remember ever using the weight room--just group sports, etc.  I recall being intimidated by all the machines.  Some of them I could figure out on my own, but many of them I just stared at and couldn't possibly conceive how it was meant to be used.  Fortunately, I occasionally went with friends and one friend was very familiar with all the equipment so he could help.  So, kn…