Wow

Today and last night have been really crazy. I'm a TA for a math class, so I was holding office hours yesterday and the professor called up and said that he had twisted his ankle and wanted me to teach his class today. I happily accepted—my goal in life is to be a math professor. I was thrilled at the chance to teach. I went home and prepared a lesson. It tooks hours of trying to pore over the information there and pull out the important stuff and try to decifer what the book was saying, but after a while I thought I had done a sufficient job. When I was IMing my mom last night she asked if I was nervous and, honestly, I wasn't at the time, so I told her no. However, this morning as I was sitting in my math class anticipating teaching this morning, I grew more and more nervous. As I walked from that classroom to the other, I felt so nervous I was about to explode. I really don't know what it was—I should have been able to explain everything just fine, because I understood the material very well. I was nervous the whole time and I didn't teach nearly as smoothly as I would have liked to. I felt bad for the students because I'm not sure they learned too much today and maybe I was just wasting their time.

Anyway, I feel much better now that it's all over and I don't have to worry about it again. I do hope he asks me to teach again in the future. I'm sure it would be good for me, and I would definitely try to do better than I had done before. All I know is that right now my brain's just kind of fried and I can't really focus very well, which isn't good because I have two homework assignments due in a half-hour and I haven't started on either of them.